Anxious in Love

January 7, 2013
Here's a self-help book for the truly anxious, not nail-biters but those whose level of fear or anxiety is debilitating and "disproportionate to the situation." Psychologists Daitch and Lorberbaum provide a brief overview of anxiety disorders, ranging from phobias to obsessive compulsive disorders to post-traumatic stress disordersâoften associated with combat but also linked to violent crimes and the aftermath of "a loved one's death." First, the authors attempt to help readers understand their reactions through helpful self-assessment quizzes, then offer corresponding exercises to reduce anxiety. Next, the authors offer ways to understand what each partner can do to prevent or reduce anxiety and increase compassion. For example, to one partner a flooded kitchen is an inconvenience, but to the partner with OCD, it's an incomprehensible challenge. While there's plenty of therapy-speak in the book (validating your partner, practicing "attunement"), the authors provide realistic and empathetic approaches, and easy-to-follow advice for anxiety-laden individuals and their partners. Daitch and Lorberbaum emphasize that "practice makes permanent," and couples willing to make such a commitment will benefit from this book.